Immigrant Parents and their ideas of self-care

I just got off the phone with a friend who asked why I wasn't in bed yet. I have been trying to build a habit of going to sleep in a timely fashion but tonight has been a failure, between a restless mind and a kid who refuses to stay in his bed. I explained that I was trying to write but it felt like I was experiencing a block. I went on to explain that talking through writer's blocks often helps me through them. In talking about this, I realized I wasn't exactly experiencing

What language do you dream in? It’s a strange question, but stay with me. For many immigrants and children of immigrants, the answer isn’t simple. Maybe you speak one language with your parents, another at work, and a completely different one with your closest friends. Maybe you switch accents without even realizing it. Maybe you’ve become so good at reading the room that you instinctively know which version of yourself to bring into every conversation. And maybe… you’re exh

Starting out as a therapist can feel like stepping into a vast, sometimes overwhelming world. There’s so much to learn, so many skills to develop, and a deep responsibility to support others on their healing journeys. If you’re just beginning this path, you might be wondering where to turn for guidance. One of the best ways to build your foundation is through reading. Books offer insights, practical tools, and perspectives that can shape your approach and boost your confidenc

When the sacrifices are not enough and the empathy is missing… Phebe and Mama Ceci - Immigrant Daughters Being the first daughter can be one of the biggest honors in an immigrant daughter’s life. You get a seat at the coveted table. You get a say in most matters. You probably get first dibs on the meat in the post (after your father of course!). If you’re like me, you also got to boss your younger siblings around here and there. I am the oldest of 3. My two younger brothers a

If you grew up in an immigrant household, chances are you've heard some version of this sentence: "I sacrificed everything for you." Maybe it was said after a disagreement. Maybe it came up when you changed careers. Perhaps it appeared unexpectedly during a conversation that had absolutely nothing to do with sacrifice. You forgot to call your mother back and somehow you're now discussing events that took place before you were born. If you know, you know!As a therapist and an

"You've become too American." If you're a first- or second-generation immigrant, there's a good chance you've heard this phrase at least once. Maybe it was because you questioned a family rule. Maybe it was because you moved away. Maybe it was because you suggested therapy. Or maybe it was because you dared to say, "I don't think that's healthy." Suddenly, you're "too American." And every time I hear this, I have the same thought: Respectfully... you raised me here. The Ident

A conversation about immigrant parents, timelines, aunties, and the emotional Olympics of being single past 30 There are few questions more powerful in immigrant communities than: “So… where is your husband?” Not "Hello." Not "How are you?" Not “Would you like more rice?” It is straight to marital status. It doesn’t matter if you just earned a doctorate, bought a home, launched a business, raised emotionally intelligent children, or healed three generations of family trauma.

A love letter to immigrant kids chasing purpose… and the parents trying not to panic

A quick conversation on going to therapy as an immigrant

I love you, I just don't know how to say it

If you're like me, receiving an apology from your parent (especially your African parent) is not something you are used to. It probably...

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TRIGGER WARNING: THE FOLLOWING POST DISCUSSES ABUSE AND TRAUMA. PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AS YOU ENGAGE Domestic abuse is a very...

Being married is great. After all, you get to spend the rest of your life with someone who loves you and wants what’s best for you. But...

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I'm a firm believer that the best marriages are built on friendship. Your relationship should be a safe haven and your partner should...